Coming Out
by bakergirl
Summary: But I don't date anyone prettier then me, and I wouldn't want to be seen with an ugly chick so it only makes sense to start dating men.


**Okay so I just had surgery Thursday so I really haven't been able to do anything. And bleh, I'm feeling horrible. I ended up puking up blood all over my hospital floor and was totally embarrassed because I started crying, but yep I'm home and feeling a bit better. Hopefully I'd be able to update "Doctor I'm In Love" I did have the second chapter written but I believe I deleted it or something. But when I start feeling better I promise I will update. Anyways this story just a CRACK mess. Don't expect to much. **

**xxxx**

James smiled at the camera in front of him, he loved being the center of attention, and this should be how the world worked all eyes on him 24/7.

"So James tells us about how you came out?" A small Asian woman asked.

James flashed a charming smile at her, showing off his pearly whites. "Well I'm not gay, I'm all about the V-I-G-I-N-A. But I don't date anyone prettier then me, and I wouldn't want to be seen with an ugly chick so it only makes sense to start dating men." He pulled out his pocket mirror and started fixing his perfect hair.

"Ah I see. So James you have boyfriend?" She asked, prying into his personal life.

"James and I are in a committed relationship." His mirror image said, the lady nodded her head, she totally wasn't thinking the pop singer was crazy. Nope not at all, because he was totally sane, and not a self centered egotistic jerk.

"We're in love what can I say?" James said shrugging a small blush forming on his face. "But if I wasn't deeply in love with him I'd come on to Kendall. I mean come on caterpillar brows would make me look SOOOOOOOO much hotter than I already are." He nodded his head in satisfaction, not caring that he basically called his long time friend ugly.

**xxx**

"So Carlos you gay?" The same woman from before asked, she seemed a little hesitant after he last interview for Coming Out Stories.

Grinning at the camera Carlos nodded his head. "Well duh! Why else would I never have a girlfriend or.." Carlos couldn't hold his emotions in any longer and started crying loudly at the fact no girl wanted to be with him.

"There, there Carlos it find!" The reporter said, rubbing his back soothingly.

"I just want a girl *sobs* that will play hockey and *sobs* eat corn dogs with me and let me take her shoe shopping!" He whined loudly.

"But Carlos you gay!" She reassured him.

"I only had sex with Logie when he was in drag!" He cried louder, "We were drunk and… And… The Jennifers made me do it!" He pointed dramatically at the group of girls on the other side of the pool.

**xxx**

"So Mr. Knight how it feel to be gay?" This interview was getting weirder as each BTR member went on.

"The same it does to be straight?" Kendall really didn't know how to answer the question. He had just recently been told by Gastavo that he was gay and would be doing the interview.

"I see I see. So Kendall you have boyfriend?" She asked hurriedly, no doubt wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

The blonde haired singer rubbed the back of his neck nervously "Uh no.. But I did have a girlfriend…" He trailed off awkwardly.

Nodding her head franticly the woman spoke, "So what happen she find out you take it up butt?"

Kendall almost choked hearing what the lady had just said. There was no way anything was going up his ass, though he would have to try it out on some other guy.

"Um no! She cheated on me! With the same guy sixteen time… In one day!" He said angrily waving his arm dramatically. "Jett was really good looking though so I can't blame her. Maybe if I had taken James' advice and waxed my eyebrows got that nose job Dr. Hollywood offered me and stopped wearing flannel this could have all been avoided."

**xxx**

"Okay last boy you up! Me want go home and kill self!"

Logan smoothly walked up to the camera; he was wearing a baby blue v-neck shirt and skinny jeans. Looking extra fabulous today, "It great have you on show today now just tell us why you gay and let me go home!" The Asian lady yelled at him.

Smiling at the camera Logan began to speak, "I guess it was around the time I started cross dressing. I always did feel like I should have been born a woman ya know!" He said laughing a small bit. "Mama Knight was fine with it, and then there was this one time with Carlos…"

"Last year Kendall forgot to buy me a birthday present so he gave me a hand job instead." He added on.

"I always felt aroused after rolling around on the floor with James."

"Once Carlos was eating a corn dog and I couldn't help imaging it being me.."

"OKAY WE DONE!" The lady screamed.

**xxx**

**Well I don't know what to say. Hope I can start writing again soon. My ear hurts so bad, anyone know ways to sooth an ear ache?  
**


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